nut hugger
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
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I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
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Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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