found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
