That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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