I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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