I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.