i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!