I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.