is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
