It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
