Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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