sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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