We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
