Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize