Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm determined to sit on that face.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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