So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
