i don't like sucking hair
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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