dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
