I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
