Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
