I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
