another moral hangover. fuck.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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