you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize