He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
