opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
