drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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