whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
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