lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
