I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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