ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
