I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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