What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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