I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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