Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
