Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
