I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
