While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
