i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
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