And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
