I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
