yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
