Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
