He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
