"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We left the knife in your bed.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
