i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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