omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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