I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
