She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
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