paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
