How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
