You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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