yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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