Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
