well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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