i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
