Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I checked into jail on foursquare
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Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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