You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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