I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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