Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
