I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
