This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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