i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
