There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
