So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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