i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
only if we run a train.
done.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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