i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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