I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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