I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize